Ups and downs

So the internet connection was not right so after fixing that and re weighing my lovely little graphs show an increase of .4 pounds from yesterday to today. Last weeks' wiggles and jiggles showed up too with variation of 1.2 pounds over 3 days. How weird that that little graph is disheartening when the month graph shows I'm down 5 pounds overall. Sigh. Why does the negative command so much more attention than the positive?

I have a new weight loss strategy. Each week I'm going to give away one piece of clothing (fat clothes). I imagine most people have a range of sizes in their closet. I get lots of hand me downs from my mom of clothes that are too big for her (and she loves to give away that which bores her so she doesn't feel as guilty about buying herself new things).  If I had less loose clothes to hide behind, I may be more motivated to stay at a lower weight. 

Technology

I think my smart scale is working to mess with my mind. I hopped on this morning and it said I was down again but it didn't transfer that wonderful news to my Fitbit account. It did that last week too and when I weighed in the next day I had gone up (or the loss was smaller). So now I'm afraid to hop back on later in the day, having eaten a couple of meals. Why does good news get lost and bad news moves at lightening speed. How wrong is it that I am crushed over movements in the wrong direction of a single pound? 

What's the right motivation?

So I'm just plunking along. Down another pound but the January enthusiasm wanes quickly. Got a scare today with a request to be in a wedding party.  That is exciting and maybe adds the external motivation I need to kick this into a higher gear. It's one thing to be chubby in my own photos, decades ago when I got married my mom wanted me to postpone my wedding so I could lose weight. I didn't postpone and even followed the vegan diet plan she put me on for 2 months prior but I couldn't tell you what I lost. Next wedding was my sister's. She found her dream bridesmaid dresses, bought the 10 for her soon to be sister in law and bought me an 8 and 6 so I could sew the two together to make one dress. But this time around I have 15 months to get in better shape. I can do this. 

Inconsistency

I think that's the word that best describes the start to this journey. On the upside I lost 2 pounds. However, it's not going to continue unless I get more consistent. I'm recording food eaten some days. I remember to grab my fit bit some days. I work out some days. I need to make these things habits.  

Fitbit

I used to use Fitbit religiously. They are the most fun is when you're traveling and walking in hilly cities like Edinburgh or San Francisco and at the end of the day it says you did 42 flights of stairs even though you were only walking streets. I misplaced my last Fitbit a few weeks ago and not 30 minutes after setting up a new one yesterday I found it in the pocket of my sweatshirt. Why does life work that way? 

So I'm tracking steps and entering what I eat on my iPhone. The Fitbit application keeps getting better. I do always have my phone with me and it finds the food and you enter the portion size. A far cry from the days of paper weight watchers cards and thick books of calorie counters. If tracking has become so much easier why aren't we getting skinnier. 

I still have my (now antique) weight watchers scale and scratched up thin square measuring cup that went on top. Any other experienced dieters still have that legacy kicking around? 

Long way to go

Up and downs are to be expected. I jumped on the scale this morning to figure out how long my journey will be. It read 7 pounds higher than I expected. I know in my gut I need to monitor and be aware of what I'm eating but skipping the scale allows me to ignore things that are hard to look at. So to get to my goal weight I need to lose 39 pounds. Strange that 30 seemed possible but 40 seems overwhelming. I know everyone has their own journey, some in the hundreds, some in single digits. People fussing over single digits weight gains always annoyed me since I've been at least 20 pounds overweight since I was 12. I can't imagine being within single digits of my goal which is probably why I never get there. I am impressed that people with hundreds of pounds to lose can imagine their whole journey. So I stopped whining and put a leash on my dog and walked her twice around the neighborhood loop. It only took 25 minutes but it's all I had time for and it was better than naught I suppose. That's the up today I guess. That and I'm going to skip popcorn at the movies this evening. I'll just imagine getting a burnt kernel stuck in my gum - ick and ow. 

A new start (again)

Happy 2014! 'Tis the day of new starts and this accountability blog is mine. I was debating making this blog private, but in this age of overexposure I assume it will get lost in the white noise. I don't want attention on my shortcomings but research shows the best way to lose weight and make changes is to make yourself accountable. We just returned from Christmas in Hawaii - the views were paradise, the selfies of me - not so picture perfect.